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What I have Lived For
---- Bertrand Russell
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy -- ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy.
I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness -- that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what -- at least -- I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I can't, and I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.
(Note: This is the prologue of Russell's autobiography)
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Translation in Chinese:
有三种简单然而无比强烈的激情左右了我的一生：对爱的渴望，对知识的探索和对人类苦难的难以忍受的怜悯。这些激情象飓风，无处不在、反复无常地吹拂着我，吹过深重的苦海，濒于绝境。
我寻找爱，首先是因为它使人心醉神迷，这种陶醉是如此的美妙，使我愿意牺牲所有的余生去换取几个小时这样的欣喜。我寻找爱，还因为它解除孤独，在可怕的孤独中，一颗颤抖的灵魂从世界的边缘看到冰冷、无底、死寂的深渊。最后，我寻找爱，还因为在爱的交融中，神秘而又具体而微地，我看到了圣贤和诗人们想象出的天堂的前景。这就是我所寻找的，而且，虽然对人生来说似乎过于美妙，这也是我终于找到了的。
以同样的激情我探索知识。我希望能够理解人类的心灵。我希望能够知道群星为何闪烁。我试图领悟毕达哥拉斯所景仰的数字力量，它支配着此消彼涨。仅在不大的一定程度上，我达到了此目的。
爱和知识，只要有可能，通向着天堂。但是怜悯总把我带回尘世。痛苦呼喊的回声回荡在我的内心。忍饥挨饿的孩子，惨遭压迫者摧残的受害者，被儿女们视为可憎的负担的无助的老人，连同这整个充满了孤独、贫穷和痛苦的世界，使人类所应有的生活成为了笑柄。我渴望能够减少邪恶，但是我无能为力，而且我自己也在忍受折磨。 | 
